Archive for 2007

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Umm … Check The Produce Aisle

| | Right | November 8, 2007

Customer in the frozen food aisle: “Do you have ice cream?”

Time To Stuff Someone’s Mailbox w/Flat Lids

, | | Right | November 8, 2007

Customer, upon receiving her Moolatte: “This has a round lid, can I have a flat lid?”

Me: “I’m sorry, the only lid that fits that cup is a dome lid.”

Customer: “But I want a flat lid, Starbucks always gets me a flat lid! Why can’t you?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the flat lids we have won’t fit that cup.”

Customer: “I want to speak with your manager.” *mutters* “Stupid kids…”

(I go and get my manager)

Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “This stupid employee of yours won’t give me a flat lid!” *brandishes the drink in his face*

(My manager takes one of every single lid in the store and puts them in front of her)

Manager: “Go ahead then.”

Customer: *proceeds to try and put the lids on the cup, none of which fit* “This is ridiculous! Why don’t you have a flat lid?! Starbucks always has a flat lid!!”

Manager: “Then go buy your drinks there and leave my employees alone.”

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My Neighbor Broke, Can You Fix It

| | Right | November 7, 2007

Tech Support: “So you’re having issues picking up your wireless signal … how many connections are there?”

Customer: “There’s two other networks but only one bar on each … those are my bad neighbors.”

Tech Support: “So the good signal isn’t there? Hmm, your modem might be off; can we check that?”

Customer: “Modem?”

(Tech support troubleshot that for a while before realizing the guy had never paid for internet before and didn’t own a modem.)

Tech Support: “Sir, when you said the other connections were your ‘bad neighbors…’ Did you mean that the good neighbor with the good signal isn’t there?”

Customer: “Oh, he moved?”

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Because Everything’s Bigger In Texas

, | | Right | November 7, 2007

(Note: the shop is really, really small, and is inside the same building as a supermarket.)

*lady walks into store with shopping cart*

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, could you leave your cart outside? It’s blocking other people from getting inside the store.”

Lady: *moves her cart filled with unpaid merchandise outside the store*

Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t take unpaid merchandise outside the store either.”

Lady: “I’m sorry. I’m from Texas!”

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… And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us

, | | Right | November 7, 2007

Customer: “Are you Hispanic?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Middle Eastern?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Egyptian?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “What are you?”

Me: “Chinese.”

(customer puts on offended face)

Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.”

Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!!!”

Me: *mouth wide open*

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