Archive for 2007

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Act Like A Kid, Get Treated Like One

, | | Right | November 12, 2007

Me: “Welcome to Lickety Splits. What can I get you?”

Customer: “I’d like a twist on a sugar cone.”

Me: “I’m sorry we can only put soft serve on a wafer cone. Is that all right?”

Customer: “Yeah that’s fine.”

(She pays, and I give her the ice cream)

Customer: “What is this?!”

Me: “Your order, ma’am.”

Customer: “I ordered a sugar cone!” *throws her ice cream on the floor* “I demand my money back!”

Me: “If you want another ice cream I’ll give you one for free, just as long as you don’t throw another tantrum.”

Customer: *strangely calm* “Thank you.”

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Bitter Racism, Please Meet Sweet Irony

| | Right | November 12, 2007

*Customers runs in frantically*

Customer: “How much is y’all’s gas?”

Me: “It’s posted outside, $2.78 a gallon.”

Customer: “DAMN SAND NI**ERS ALWAYS HIKING UP GAS! I’M GOING DOWN THE STREET!”

*returns 10 minutes later*

Customer: “Let me get 10 on pump 3.”

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Oh Give Me a Home, Where The Jackalopes Roam

, , | | Right | November 11, 2007

Little boy: “What are those?”

Zookeeper: “That’s a Cavy.”

(Note: Cavies are another name for guinea pigs.)

Little boy’s father: “No, they’re not. They’re Jack-a-lopes. But I don’t see any antlers, so they must all be does.”

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Actually, You Look More Like A C-Cup

| | Right | November 11, 2007

Customer Looking at Batteries: “My friend asked me to pick her up some D batteries, but I’m not sure which ones to get.”

(Customer holds up a package with 10 D batteries in it and a package with 12 D batteries in it)

Customer: “What’s the difference between 10D and 12D? I don’t want to get the wrong ones.”

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Yet Bats Drink Blood And Dogs Eat Poop

, | | Right | November 11, 2007

Me: “Would you like half and half?”

Hippy Woman: “Oh no! Soy please. Humans aren’t supposed to drink milk you know. Haven’t you noticed we’re the only species that drinks the milk of another species?”

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