Archive for 2007

Jump to page:

Flight Of The Vagaries

| | Right | November 13, 2007

Lady: “I’m looking for a book; I don’t remember the name, but it has a green cover.”

Me: *pointing to shelf* “All of our green books are over there.”

1 Thumbs
1,429
VOTES

Please, Tell Me About Myself

, , | | Right | November 13, 2007

Customer: “How long will this pen last?”

Me: “Depends how often you use it.”

Customer: “How often is that?”

(I really didn’t know what to say.)

1 Thumbs
1,877
VOTES

Freak Out At The Check Out

| | Right | November 13, 2007

Me: “And how would you like to pay for that today?”

Customer: “Debit.”

Me: “Okay, the stripe faces me.”

(She swipes card with the stripe facing her; tries again)

Customer: “Sh*t. Sh*t!!”

(The register times out)

Me: “Hold on; okay, try again. Stripe goes toward me.”

(She finally swipes the card successfully)

Customer: “Where’s the ‘OK’ button?” *pushes the green sticker below the ‘OK’ button*

Me: “It’s the green button.”

(She figures out how to press the button, but then incorrectly types her pin number)

Customer: “Oh God! Oh God, oh my God! SH*T!”

1 Thumbs
1,731
VOTES

Damaged Goods, And We’re Not Talking Groceries

| | Right | November 12, 2007

(A coworker is bagging groceries as I ring them up)

Customer, to my bagger: “Wait! Don’t pack them like that! Honestly, it’s as if no one understands how to pack bags anymore!”

Coworker, looking down at a loaf of bread on top of some grapefruits in a paper bag: “How do you want them packed?”

Customer: “Clearly the bread needs to go on the bottom! I don’t want the grapefruits to get damaged; they’re fragile!”

1 Thumbs
2,464
VOTES

911 Grab Bag: Define “Emergency”

, , , | | Right | November 12, 2007

(The following quotes are from various phone calls made to a West Virginia 911 line.)

1. “What are the Daily Pick Four lottery numbers?”

2. “My TV is out.”

3. “How much snow/rain are we supposed to get?”

4. “Is it illegal to tape a cat to a bottle rocket?”

5. “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”

6. “How high are gas prices going to get?”

7. “Why am I getting Error Message #781 on my computer screen?”

8. “I have never roasted a turkey before and my in-laws will be here in an hour.”

9. “I am reading this recipe. What is fennel?”

10. “I am doing my homework. What is the square root of 435?”

11. “Are crabs in season?”

12. “I wanna talk to a cop about my child support, if you can drag one away from the donut shop.”

13. “I just wanted to make sure you were all awake.”

1 Thumbs
5,262
VOTES
Page 21/33First...1920212223...Last
« Previous
Next »