Archive for 2007

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Perhaps A Little Bit Too Free

| | Right | December 29, 2007

(Woman walks in totally nude and grabs a muffin. She has a large, rather offensive tattoo from her bottom rib up her neck.)

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t just take those…”

Nudist: “Why, because of the tattoo?”

Me: “No, because you need to pay for it first.”

Nudist: “It’s a free country!” *walks out*

(I ended up pulling out my wallet and paying for it myself, because getting arrested for chasing a nude chick down the street is not worth it.)

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Instructions Are Your Friends

| | Right | December 29, 2007

(Referring to the payment terminal)

Customer: “It’s not working. Whats wrong with it?”

Me: “What does it say?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Please slide card again’.”

Me: “Well, then slide your card again.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(She slides her card. It works.)

Customer: “Hey it worked!”

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How A DS RPG Killed The ESRB

, | | Right | December 28, 2007

(Customer brings a mediocre role playing game for the Nintendo DS up to the counter.)

Customer: “Hey, would this game be good for an eight year old?”

Me: “Well, does he like RPGs?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t let him watch anything rated R.”

Me: “Oh…I mean, does he like role playing games?”

Customer: “Whats that? That like one of them Mario games?”

Me: “No, it’s one where you follow a story line and usually has a lot of reading, like Final Fantasy. Has he ever played anything like that before?”

Customer: “Oh, he don’t read books. And I don’t like that it’s rated R and PG.”

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It’s All About The Babies

| | Right | December 28, 2007

Me: “…ma’am, I’m sorry, but unless you had insurance during that time, you will have to pay for the insurance we purchased for you.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you people are demanding we PAY for this s***! And the electric company wants money, too! How am I supposed to take care of my babies when all of you are demanding money for stuff?! WHAT ABOUT THE BABIES?”

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Just Wait Until Congress Hears About This

| | Right | December 27, 2007

Me: “Yes, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Well I need one of those things that go in back of my phone. What’s it called?”

Me: “I’m not sure what it is, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh yeah, I remember what it is. A stem cell…”

Me: “A what????”

Customer: “You know, a stem cell so I can make calls…the little card thing…”

(She was thinking of a SIM card; I died laughing when she left!)

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