Archive for 2007

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Making Lemonade Out Of Lemons, Literally

| | Right | November 27, 2007

(Well, it was at a seafood restaurant, but it’s happened at other places. Servers from all over know about it)

Me: “And what would you like to drink today?”

Customer: “Five waters. We also need more sugar. And please bring a lot of lemons.”

(I bring them extra lemons and more sugar, but it was not enough)

Customer: “We gonna need a helluva lot more than that!”

(Turns out they needed all of this to make LEMONADE at the table! Talk about cheap…)

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The Patience Of A Saint, But Not The Brains

| | Right | November 26, 2007

(Setting: Gas station, Saturday, 11 pm)

Customer: “Is Sunday’s paper out yet?”

Me: “No sir, it’s still Saturday…”

Customer: “Oh, what time do they normally come in?”

Me: “Around 4 am but sometimes as late as 5 am.”

Customer: “Oh okay, I guess I’ll wait.”

(Customer proceeds to wait in the store for 5 hours for the paper to be delivered…)

Source

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The Problem With Analogies

| | Right | November 26, 2007

(A customer wanders down the paint aisle I’m working on and asks for advice on which paint to use. I tell him, and he asks for the differences between brands)

Me: “Brand A is just a bit thicker than Brand B. But other than that, they’re pretty much the same.”

Customer: “What do you mean ‘thicker’?”

Me: “The paint has a thicker consistency.”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “Do you know what cake batter looks like? And water?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Cake batter is thicker than water, like Brand A is thicker than Brand B.”

Customer: “Brand A is cake batter?”

(It goes on like this for awhile. I ended up leaving him there to contemplate)

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Not Just Any Warm Crunchy Bread, Mind You

| | Right | November 26, 2007

Me: “So, what can I get you?”

Hobo: “I’m pretty hungry so I guess I’ll have…” *stares at menu*

Me, 3 minutes later: “I’ll come ba-”

Hobo: “I want some toast!”

Me: “Okay, toast is all, I’ll be right back.”

Hobo: “Yeah, that’s what I want…french toast.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Hobo: “I want some french toast. How much does that cost?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we don’t have french toast.”

Hobo: “Then what do you have?”

Me: “Um…toast?”

Hobo: “Toast? What’s that?”

*long pause*

Me: “Warm crunchy bread, sir.”

Hobo: “Yeah, bring me some white, warm crunchy bread!”

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This One Needs The “Three Hour Tour”

| Right | November 26, 2007

Customer: “How long is the one hour tour?”

Me: “60 Minutes.”

Customer: “Where does the harbour tour go?”

Me: “Around the harbour.”

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