Archive for 2007

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Like, Oh My God!

| Fargo, ND, USA | Uncategorized

College Girl #1: “Our friend is registered here, but we can’t find her name on the computer.”

College Girl #2: “Yeah, it’s broken.”

College Girl #1: “She’s like one of our best friends and we need to get her a present.”

College Girl #2: “Yeah.”

Me: “Oh, okay, well let’s try it again.”

(We walk over to the gift registry kiosk.)

Me: “So is your friend registered for a wedding or baby shower?”

(The two girls look at each other confused.)

College Girl #2: “…Wedding?”

Me: “Okay…what’s her first name?”

College Girl #1: “Sarah…”

Me: “Is that with an ‘h’ at the end, or is it just S-A-R-A?”

(The two girls look at each other confused.)

Me: “Okay, well the computer can search using the first two letters of the first name, so we’ll just put in S-A. And what is her last name?”

College Girl #1: *says something unintelligible that sounds like “Pheuyben”*

Me: “And how do you spell it?”

(The girls look at each other confused.)

College Girl #2: “Um…”

College Girl #1: “Uh…”

Me: “Does it start with an ‘f’ or a ‘p-h’?”

College Girl #1: “P-h.”

College Girl #2: “F.”

(The girls look at each other confused.)

(Oh. My. God. If I had “best friends” like that I’d swallow some Drano.)

Not Unless It Has A Prenup

South Wales, UK | Uncategorized

(This is where I entered the conversation.)

Lady customer: “Yes, I have at home a ‘widows’ computer. Will the software work on a ‘widows’ computer?”

Why Mom Isn’t Part Of The Admissions Criteria

| Midwest, USA | Uncategorized

(Working in a psychology department main office.)

Caller: “Do you have the courses for a psychology graduate degree posted on you website?”

Me: “Let me check….yes, they are posted on our website.”

Caller: “But I can’t find them!”

(I spend a couple minutes navigating her through our website. Once at the right page…)

Me: “Is that all?”

Caller: “Well she’s a sophomore, so is this what she needs?”

Me: “No, if she’s an undergraduate she’ll need something else.”

(I navigate her to our undergraduate listings.)

Caller: “BUT, these are all PSYCHOLOGY classes!!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s what you asked for….”

Caller: “No, I wanted the English requirements!”

Me: “For an English degree?”

Caller: “No the English requirements for a psychology degree!”

Me: “Ma’am, do you want the Gen Ed requirements for all bachelor’s degrees?”

Caller: “YES!!! That’s what I want!”

(This call continues for many more minutes in which I explain that she should already have a huge packet on that from when her daughter started college. When she insists that they never got that, I actually navigate her over to the admission website, talk her through downloading the packet (a 600 page PDF), and have to explain not only what page to turn to, but where to look on the page.)

(For her daughter’s sake, let’s hope it’s not hereditary.)