Archive for 2007

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Not Just Any Warm Crunchy Bread, Mind You

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Me: “So, what can I get you?”

Hobo: “I’m pretty hungry so I guess I’ll have…” *stares at menu*

Me, 3 minutes later: “I’ll come ba-”

Hobo: “I want some toast!”

Me: “Okay, toast is all, I’ll be right back.”

Hobo: “Yeah, that’s what I want…french toast.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Hobo: “I want some french toast. How much does that cost?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we don’t have french toast.”

Hobo: “Then what do you have?”

Me: “Um…toast?”

Hobo: “Toast? What’s that?”

*long pause*

Me: “Warm crunchy bread, sir.”

Hobo: “Yeah, bring me some white, warm crunchy bread!”

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The Patience Of A Saint, But Not The Brains

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(Setting: Gas station, Saturday, 11 pm)

Customer: “Is Sunday’s paper out yet?”

Me: “No sir, it’s still Saturday…”

Customer: “Oh, what time do they normally come in?”

Me: “Around 4 am but sometimes as late as 5 am.”

Customer: “Oh okay, I guess I’ll wait.”

(Customer proceeds to wait in the store for 5 hours for the paper to be delivered…)


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This One Needs The “Three Hour Tour”


Customer: “How long is the one hour tour?”

Me: “60 Minutes.”

Customer: “Where does the harbour tour go?”

Me: “Around the harbour.”

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Overlord PX53A-Z Is Not Pleased

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(A woman gets frustrated after I switch out for a co-worker to go on break on Black Friday)

Woman Customer: “Ugh! That is so frustrating! Why didn’t she wait to leave until I was finished?”

Me: “Ma’am, she’s been here since 3:45 this morning, and she needed a break. Plus, we’re not robots.”

Woman Customer: “Good. I hate robots.”

Maybe If You Click Your Heels Three Times

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Me: “Welcome to the Award Winning XXXXXX, How may I help you?”

Potential Guest on the Phone: “I would like a room.”

Me: “And when would you be arriving sir?”

Guest: “Huh?”

Me: “When do you want the room?”

Guest: “Oh! Tonight…”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we are completely booked tonight, would you like me to provide the number of a nearby establishment?”

Guest: “You got no rooms? Can’t you just give me one of the emergency rooms?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t have any rooms like that, we sell our rooms until we are out. We don’t keep any rooms for ’emergencies.'”

Guest: “Oh, you have suites too don’t you?”

Me: “Yes, we do, but we are completely booked, so there are no rooms available, every kind.”

Guest: “No rooms?”

Me: “No rooms.”

Guest: “No Suites?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, we have no rooms of any kind, Suite or otherwise, now unless you want to book a room for another night, I am going to have to hang up.”

Guest: “No rooms?”


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