Archive for 2007

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Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife

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(I go to a table of four, a mom and dad and two kids who are ready to order.)

Husband: “How big are your pizzas?”

Me: “They are 10 inch pizzas, sir.”

Husband: “Well how big is 10 inches?

(And before I can answer, the wife chimes in.)

Wife: “You wouldn’t know anything about 10 inches, dear.”

(I stood there for a moment with my mouth open, before I ran to the wait station and started laughing hysterically.)

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

Might I Also Suggest A Dictionary

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Customer: “Hi. I need a threesis.”

Clerk: “A…pardon?

Customer: “You know–a threesis. It has other words that mean the same as the word you look up.”

Clerk: “Oh…do you mean a thesaurus?”

Customer: “Duh! That’s a dinosaur! I need a threesis!”

With Great Pizza Comes Great Responsibility

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(A hospital calls to order pizza.)

Manager: “Thank you for calling *****, would you like to try the Superhero Special?”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Manager: “It’s an extra large, three topping pizza that comes with a coupon for the Spiderman 3 DVD.”

Customer: “…the pizza’s delivered by Spiderman!?”

Manager: *laughs* “Only if its delivered to the psych ward, ma’am!”

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