Daria Goes To Church

(My friends and I have just recently made it into the ninth grade. One of my friends is the “school emo,” complete with dyed red hair, black clothes, and atheism. I have no idea why, but I speak in a pretty monotone voice and generally have a blank face. Now, while I myself am Christian, I do not tolerate other people’s bull-s*** when it comes to other people’s beliefs. This takes place at lunch when one of the more religious girls in our grade comes up to us and sits across from my friend..)

Girl: *after babbling on about Jesus and why my friend should believe in god, she stops for a moment and hands her a small pamphlet* “So please just come to my church for one night.”

Friend: “No, I’ve been dragged to church my whole life and I hated it.”

Me: *I have no idea why I did this, but seeing as how light she is I decided to. I stand from my chair and take the back of hers, turning her around to the table next to us where she was sitting* “She’s not going to church.”

(Mind you, I did all of this with absolutely no emotion on my face, or in my voice. We still joke about this to this day.)