Dance Dance Dissolution

, , , , | Related | October 21, 2019

(My brother-in-law is obsessed with a certain online game — the one with the ridiculous dance moves. He is so obsessed that when he isn’t playing, he acts like an addict in detox. My husband doesn’t see it this way, but offers no alternative for why his 26-year-old brother would be moody and withdrawn when he isn’t playing. One night, he is over for dinner and, of course, plays this game on our console, something I specifically said he could not do. When dinner is ready, I call him to the table.)

Me: “Hey, [Brother-In-Law], come eat!”

Brother-In-Law: *distracted* “Um… hang on. I’m… busy.”

Me: “Pause it; it’s time to eat.”

Brother-In-Law: *no response*

Me: “[Husband], go get him.”

Husband: “He’ll be here in a minute.”

(Ten minutes pass, and all I hear from the other room is [Brother-In-Law] screaming at the TV and the game restarting. I go to the living room to fetch him myself.)

Me: “[Brother-In-Law]! Come on!”

Brother-In-Law: *distracted* “Okay. Hold… Just a… second.”

Me: *stepping in front of the TV* “Dinner is getting cold. Let’s go!”

Brother-In-Law: *furious* “F***! Move! Oh, my f******… You made me lose! F***!”

Me: *cheerfully* “Now you can come to eat with us. Let’s go!”

Brother-In-Law: “Fine.”

([Brother-In-Law] follows me to the kitchen, grabs a plate of food, and skirts around me back to the living room.)

Me: “Excuse me. What are you doing?”

Brother-In-Law: *firing up the game again* “You wanted me to eat.”

Me: “I wanted you to eat with us. Come in here.”

Brother-In-Law: “But the game!”

Me: “It’s just a game!” *moves to unplug the console*

Brother-In-Law: “Don’t touch that!”

Me: *astounded* “Did you just tell me to not touch my [game console]?”

Brother-In-Law: *condescendingly* “That’s what I said.”

Me: *shrug* “Okay.”

(I go down to the basement where our wireless router is set up and pull the plug. In no time, I hear a feral screech and pounding. I come back upstairs to see [Brother-In-Law] holding his controller so tightly his knuckles are turning white.)

Brother-In-Law: “WHAT THE F***?!”

Husband: “What?!”

Brother-In-Law: “YOUR B**** RUINED MY GAME!”

Husband: *sternly* “My wife invited you over for dinner, not to play video games. If you want to play your game, you can go home.”

Brother-In-Law: “But–”

Husband: “No.”

Brother-In-Law: “She–”

Husband: “No.”

Brother-In-Law: *pointing at me* “F*** YOU!”

Husband: *grabs his brother by the arm* “Well, that’s enough. You can come back when you can act like a decent human being. *takes the controller from him and pushes him out the door* “Goodbye.”

([Brother-In-Law] has come back since then, but he never stays long. It’s strange how our Wi-Fi always goes down when he comes over.)

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