Damper-ing His Spirits

, , , , , , | Working | August 31, 2018

My husband and I are at a well-known theme park, sitting in the audience of a Bush skills show — sheep shearing, whip cracking, snake handling, making damper bread and billy tea, etc. The showman has just shown around a very large and harmless python; he’s clearly loving the shrieking reactions from tourists, who are all but fleeing from the snake. When he gets to me, I grin and pet the python happily whilst cooing over it as if it was a puppy. He seems a little disappointed he didn’t get the same reaction from me, but the show goes on until he reaches the part about making damper bread.

He calls me up on stage, clearly hoping to get a reaction this time. He jokingly throws random handfuls of flour and salt in a bowl and then pours in far too much water. He looks at me with a grin and tells me to get to it.

It looks like an absolute mess, which is, of course, what he intended.

He goes back to the front of the stage to continue with a demonstration on bush medicine whilst behind him I set about fixing the damper dough. I grab more flour to even out the ratios, add more salt, and by the time he comes back to check on me, I’m kneading a perfect damper bread dough.

He looks at me. He looks at the dough. He looks at me. He looks at the dough, and utterly stumped, all he can say is, “You shouldn’t have been able to do that!” before sending me back to my seat, baffled.

Sorry, mate! You just picked on the wrong lady!

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