Dad’s Kegging Out Party

(While traveling through the US from Canada, my father, brother, and I stop at a store to pick up a few items for dinner back at the hotel. My father also decides to buy some beer. Note: My brother is around 9, and I am 17.)

Cashier: “I can’t sell you alcohol with kids around; it’s against state law.”

My Dad: “Alright, I can have them wait in the car then.” *hands me the keys*

Cashier: “No, no. Now that I know you have kids with you, I can’t sell you alcohol at all. You might give it to them.”

My Dad: “You think I’m going to give the kids alcohol?”

Cashier: “Well, maybe not the younger one, but the teenager you certainly might.”

My Dad: “So, let me get this straight: in Utah, I can’t bring my children with me to [store] if I’m buying alcohol?”

Cashier: “Oh, they’re your children. Well then, I can sell it to you. But really, do you think it’s appropriate to buy booze in front of your kids?”

My Dad: “Would it teach them better views towards alcohol if I bought it secretly and drank in a closet?”