Dads Just KNOW Things

My aunt was a stereotypical wild child as a teenager. She partied, drank, and even made explosives and blew up random junk with her friends. Neither of her siblings ever did anything like that, so she drove my grandparents up the wall.

One night, my aunt was getting ready for a party and decided to wear a skimpy crop top and low-rise pants that were popular at the time. She went downstairs to leave, only to be met with my grandfather, who just about blew a gasket when he saw what she was wearing.

Grandfather: “No. Absolutely not. Go put a different shirt on.”

She huffed and puffed but went back upstairs and came down with a different, sufficiently modest shirt. My grandfather didn’t look up from his newspaper.

Grandfather: “Take the shirt out of your purse, [Aunt].”

She yanked the crop top out of her purse and slammed it down on the kitchen table before leaving to go to the party. My aunt is now a nurse and mother of three, and she and my grandfather both laugh at this story, though she still says she doesn’t know how he could’ve known that the crop top was in her purse.