Daddy Issues Save The Day!
I’m a waitress at a restaurant in a fancy golf club in the early nineties. The clientele is mostly older rich men who come in together and can act pretty sleazy. Most of us younger female waitresses have to put up with quite a lot from these guys, mainly because they’re high-paying members of a fancy club and management will usually side with them instead of us. Also, tips are pretty good, and I know that’s no excuse, but this was over thirty years ago and it seems like a different time.
We are hired young to keep costs down, and we are told to always be pleasant and make small talk. I see now that in the minds of some Neanderthals, this is mistaken for “flirting” or “being okay with it”, but there are ways for us to use this to our advantage.
One of our new teenage waitresses comes up to me looking pretty upset.
Waitress: “That group of… gentlemen… over there are saying some super creepy stuff!”
I look over and recognize their ringleader almost immediately. He’s one of our worst.
Me: “I know them. I’ll take over their table if you take over table seven for me, okay?”
I go over to the table and introduce myself as their waitress for the afternoon.
Ringleader: “Ah, much better! You look like you can handle the desires of a real man!”
Me: *Fake laughing* “I do my best, sir! Can I get a tab started for y’all? You look like a group of men who can handle a real man’s lunch, and we have some amazing bourbon at the bar.”
Ringleader: “That’s what I am talking about! Take my card, sweetheart.”
Me: *Looking at his card* “Oh, wow, you’re a Horace! That’s my dad’s name!”
It’s not, but he doesn’t need to know that.
Ringleader: *Grimacing* “Uh… yeah.”
I take their drink orders and bring them back to them. I am making small talk.
Me: “Do you have any children, Mr. [Ringleader]?”
Ringleader: “Uh… yeah.”
Me: “You should bring them to the club some time!”
Ringleader: “Girls aren’t interested in golf! Besides, they’re too busy!”
Me: “With work?”
Ringleader: “How old do you think I am?! They’re in high school!”
Me: “Oh, awesome, me, too!”
To be honest, I had just graduated, but they didn’t need to know that. As soon as this sleazy a**hole realized that I was the same age as at least one of his daughters and our dads had the same name, he was suddenly well-behaved, and so were his friends.
And the tip was even bigger than usual!
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