The Daddy Of All Daddy Issues

(I am in a car with a work friend, and we’re chatting, when the topic turns to family. When speaking with acquaintances I often refer to my mother’s husband as my ‘stepdad’, even though I don’t consider him as such, simply because it’s easier to say and gets the point across. My closer friends understand my relationship with him, and with them I just refer to him by name.)

Me: “So I was talking with my stepdad…” *I pause for a moment, and figure I’ve been spending enough time with this guy outside work that he’s more than an acquaintance, so I might as well explain* “I mean, he’s not like my dad, he’s—”

Friend: “Whoa, whoa, wait. Does he make your mom happy?”

Me: “Yes, he—”

Friend: “Is he good for her?”

Me: “Yes, just—”

Friend: “Does she love him?”

Me: “Yeah, but—”

Friend: “Then don’t complain about him!”

Me: “I’m NOT complaining about him! He’s an AWESOME guy! She’s a vegetarian and so is he, they have a great organic garden in their yard, he totally loves her, and I’m really glad they found each other! But I only met him as a teenager, he never had a hand in raising me, and they didn’t get married until after I moved out. I seriously have nothing against him; he’s a great guy, but he’s not my dad!”

Friend: *silent for a moment* “Oh. Okay. It’s just, I was raised by a stepdad, and he was great. I get so f****** tired of people s***ting on their stepdads because they’re ‘not their real dad.'”

(Ironically, when I was a kid, I always hoped that she would meet a guy with kids so I could have siblings and a second dad.)