Dad Speaks A Whole Different Language

, , , | Related | June 19, 2017

(My parents split when I was five and I was raised by my mom so my relationship with my dad has always been very awkward. He still tends to treat me like a little kid even though I’m 21. I’ve only seen him twice in the past six years and we rarely talk on the phone so our relationship hasn’t changed much. My sister and I are planning to visit him this summer, so I’m calling him to start planning.)

Me: “What dates work for you?”

Dad: “Well, you can’t come until May at the earliest because I’m not well right now.”

Me: “Oh, no, what’s wrong?”

Dad: “I’ve got a cold and I need a machine to help me breathe when I sleep.”

Me: “Oh, that’s awful. Is [His Girlfriend] taking care of you?”

Dad: “Yeah, she’s taking care of me. She does everything but wipe my a**.”

(I can hear his girlfriend cracking up in the background, and I’m a bit taken aback as my dad almost never swears around me. I brush it off and the conversation moves to my schooling. I tell him I’m going to be a student teacher for an introductory Spanish class next year.)

Dad: “Wow, that’s awesome. I didn’t know you spoke Spanish.”

(I’ve only been studying it for ten years…)

Me: “Yeah, I’m really excited.”

Dad: “Mucho gusto!” *Nice to meet you* “You know what that means?”

Me: “Yes, dad, I know what that means.”

Dad: “Muy caliente! You know what that means?”

(Most people think that it’s used to say something is hot, temperature-wise, but it actually means “horny.”)

Me: “Uh… yes, I know what that means.”

Dad: “Muy caliente! I only say that when I see a sexy lady.”

Me: “…okay, dad.”

(After that conversation, I stopped wishing for my dad to treat me more like an adult.)

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  • Ron Tamir

    I’m confused. mucho gusto means “I want very much” pretty much and muy caliente is “very hot”, at least that’s what I was always taught in spanish. Can a native speaker correct me if I’m wrong?

    • We have the same slang in English, as in we could say “She looks hot!” and not mean she looks like she’s sweating. But yes, I’d like to hear from a native Spanish speaker, too.

      • Jourdan Townsend

        Yes but that isn’t what OP is saying. I would be in total agreement if the story said, “Many people don’t realize the meaning changes based on context,” but they said it doesn’t mean something is hot temperature-wise, which isn’t true.

        • Laren Dowling

          That phrasing *doesn’t* mean temperature heat, though. If you said “It’s hot outside,” that would be one thing. But using it to refer to a person gives it a sexual connotation.

    • Flami

      That’s what I always thought, according to my Spanish 9 classes in 1990-1991.

    • danielle

      mucho gusto means nice to meet you, thats just how they say it. perfect translation, you are correct, but thats not bow they use it. to describe a person as caliente is a form of sexy, to describe yourself or somone as hot like its hot ouside the word is calor as in: tengo calor… i am hot

    • RallyLock

      Had to change a few words due to this site’s weird censorship policies, but this should still be clear.

      It’s kind of a form of slang. German has a similar system for hot and cold.

      If you tell someone “Ich bin kalt” (which translates literally to “I am cold”), in everyday context, you’re actually telling them “I have not had physical relations in quite some time” .

      On the other side – “Ich bin heiss” (literally “I am hot”) means that you are eagerly awaiting physical relations, and “Ich bin warm” (“I am warm”) means you’re admitting to being LGBTQ.

      In all three cases – if you want to refer to the temperature, ALWAYS say “Mir ist kalt/heiss/warm”.

  • Christine Wood

    Ew.

  • Lazy

    Ass isn’t a swear word

    • Dani Marie

      Not in the same sense as the F word, no.
      But I think the OP means that they’re not even used to hearing their father say anything the least bit controversial!
      Ass isn’t a swear, but it’s not really polite, either.

    • Carolyn Foot

      Yeah OP seems kinda sheltered…

    • Kathleen Llama Jones

      It’s considered a swear word in most places. It gets kids in trouble.

    • Laren Dowling

      It’s definitely a swear word according to every school I’ve attended. And that’s 3 elementary schools, 3 middle schools, plus high school and university, scattered all across the country.
      No, it’s not as foul as the F word, but it’s still crass. There are far less offensive ways of referring to one’s backside.

      • Lazy

        I mean if you call someone an ass I can understand but refering to your own backside isn’t really

        • Laren Dowling

          Yes, it still is. That’s am extremely crass term for it, and my mother would have washed my mouth out with soap if I ever used it. The only time I ever got away with saying that word was singing the song “What child is this?” because it referred to a donkey.

  • Aye caramba.

  • Natasha

    I’m going to guess that dad was on some extreme medications that made him a little bit out of it.

  • Tänya Kirkle

    I was actually raised by my dad and he still treats me like a little child. I wonder if it’s a dad thing.