Dad Jokes Are Depressing

Back in 2000ish, my dad and I were at a convention. It ran stuff for seventy-two hours straight, so sleep was optional. 

It’s about 6 AM, and we’re headed up to our room. We got on the elevator, and an older couple joined us. They were not part of our ragtag convention. In an aloof voice, the man requested:

Man: “Please depress button three.”

Whereupon my dad looked at the display panel and started in with:

Dad: “You’re not all that great a button. You’re dimmer than the rest, you’re dirty, and completely out of alignment.”

Then he turned to the couple and said:

Dad: “There, that button should be depressed now.”

The woman was looking amused; the man looked like he was rethinking so many life choices.