Customers Will Drive You To Drink, And Then Some

I have been working at this job for upwards of two years. My store has been host to an absolute nightmare of a regular who has gotten progressively worse. He started with “accept my coupon that expired yesterday” and gradually escalated all the way up to “give me something for free because I waited in line for an hour (during a Black Friday sale)”. For whatever reason, he hasn’t been banned from the store.

[Coworker] started work a week ago, and we’ve struck up a pretty quick friendship. She’s already had her fair share of NAR-worthy customers, but today was her first experience with [Regular].

This conversation ensues after we’ve clocked out for the day and are on our way out of the store.

Coworker: “I don’t know what the h*** that guy is smoking, but I need a hit of it.”

Me: “Um, aren’t you teetotal?”

For those who don’t know, “teetotal” refers to someone who completely abstains from recreational drugs or alcohol consumption.

Coworker: “What about it?”

Me: “Whatever the h*** that guy is smoking, he has been working his way up to it for years now. If you took a hit with no prior drug experience, you would die.”

[Coworker] glances at the busy store and looks back at me with all seriousness.

Coworker: “I don’t know what the h*** that guy is smoking, but I need a hit of it.”