Customers Make You Go He-He

, , , , | Right | September 7, 2018

(This happens in a supermarket. I’m standing at a register, ready to pay, when a customer comes in holding several inflated balloons, asking to return them. The cashier is a young girl and obviously new, so she doesn’t know what to do and calls for a manager.)

Manager: “How can I help?”

Customer: “I’d like to return these.”

Manager: “Why?”

Customer: “They don’t float!”

Manager: “What?”

Customer: “I inflated them all myself; they don’t float!”

Manager: “How did you inflate them?”

Customer: “With a bicycle pump.”

Manager: “So, you inflated them with air. That’s why they don’t float. If you want them to float, you need to fill them with helium.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make sense! The air in the balloon is not heavier than the air in the… air.”

Manager: “But the air in the balloon plus the weight of the rubber is.”

Customer: “Wait…”

(You can almost hear the gears in the customer’s head start to grind.)

Customer: “Actually… it does make sense… D*** it, I’m stupid… but where can I get helium now?”

Manager: “I suggest you go to [Hardware Store]; they should have some. Keep in mind, though, helium bottles are large and heavy, so you’ll need a large car and some helping hands.”

Customer: “Thanks!”

(The customer hurries out of the store. The manager stares after her. A worker steps up to the manager.)

Worker: “Did she actually just admit that you were right and she was wrong?”

Manager: “Remember this day well. You’ll probably win the lottery twice before this happens again.”

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