The Customer’s Instinct Is Always Wrong

(I am a 911 operator.)

Caller: “There is a bear in my garage.”

Me: “Please confirm your address.” *caller confirms her location*

Caller: “Can you send someone to arrest the bear?”

Me: “I can send a deputy to try and chase him out.”

Caller: “Can you send someone to arrest the bear?”

Me: “Ma’am, bears cannot be arrested.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “Bears are not recognized as criminals under California state law. They do not have the ability to commit crimes. They are wild animals. They behave out of instinct. I will send a deputy to help you remove the bear.”