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Customers Don’t Know I Am Titanium

, , , , , | Right | June 3, 2019

(I’m a professional body piercer at one of the best studios in the state. We use the highest quality jewelry possible, and because of this, our prices are a little higher than most run-of-the-mill shops.)

Me: “Hello! What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I want to get my bellybutton pierced!”

Me: “Awesome! Let me just check your anatomy really quick and get your paperwork taken care of. Here is the jewelry we can use for that area. The piece is going to be dependent on the jewelry that you choose, so let me know what you like and I’ll let you know a price.”

Customer: “I like this one!” *pointing to a very nice double gem prong set piece in implant-grade titanium*

Me: “Very good choice! That piece will go with anything you wear! Now, for the jewelry and the piercing fee, your total will come to $95.”

Customer: “Are you trying to to f****** rip me off? I can get the same thing down the street for $30. I’m going to report you for scamming!”

Me: “Ma’am, our jewelry is the highest quality you can find, contains no nickel or lead, and has a lifetime guarantee.”

Customer: “$95 is a total scam! I’ll have you fired! I’ll have it so you never make another dollar in this town again.”

(At this point I’m, of course, a little irritated.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve already told you about the jewelry quality; add on me putting myself at risk with bodily fluids, I think $95 is a fair price. Feel free to go to the shop down the street. You are an adult. I don’t think we will be doing business together and I have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “F*** this place! F*** you, lady! You’re all a bunch of drug addicts and bums!”

(She did leave, but not after knocking down some award plaques we have displayed and breaking one. She did end up coming back a couple of months later with a terribly done navel piercing and begged me to fix it. Unfortunately, there was no way of fixing it and she was left with a nasty scar.)

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