Customers Can Be A Strange Breed

(I work at a dog kennel. I am helping my manager work the front desk when a man walks in with a large dog. We are at 100% capacity, so we know he is a walk-in. My manager goes right over to head off any tantrums that might be coming.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are completely full at the moment. If you want to put your name on the waiting list, however, we will call you as soon as there is room.”

Man: “Oh, no, I’m not looking to board my dog; I’m looking to breed him.”

Manager: *confused* “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t breed dogs here. This is a kennel.”

Man: *clearly not listening* “I want to breed my dog. He’s a purebred.”

Manager: “Sir, again, we don’t breed dogs here.”

Man: “Why not? He’s had all his shots and he’s a purebred!”

Manager: “Sir, again, we don’t breed dogs here, because these dogs do not belong to us. These dogs all belong to other people and they’d be very upset if we let your dog mate with their pet.”

Man: *sounding desperate* “You don’t understand! You could make a lot of money selling the puppies; this is a good deal!”

Manager: *totally fed up* “A good deal is not getting sued by an angry owner. Please leave; I have a line of actual customers waiting.”

(The man leaves with his dog, looking pretty dejected, but doesn’t try to argue further. Half an hour later, one of my coworkers who wasn’t there for the strange man answers the phone.)

Coworker: “Hello, this is [Kennel]. How can I help you today?”

(I can’t hear the other half of the conversation, but my coworker starts making this really confused face.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t breed dogs here.”

Manager: *furious* “Oh, my God! [Coworker], hang up the d*** phone.” *turning to me* “If he calls back again, I’m going to neuter them both!”