Customers Actually Know A Thing Or Two

(I was recently given a $2 bill from the bank. I don’t collect the things, so I try to use it to buy a $1 cookie from a cookie place in the mall.)

Employee: *looks at $2 bill* “I can’t accept that.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “I need real money.”

Me: “It’s a two dollar bill—”

Employee: “If you don’t give me real money, I’m going to call security!”

Me: “It is real money. Are you being serious?”

Employee: “Are you retarded? I’m telling you, I’m going to call security if you keep trying to give me fake money!”

Me: “This is…you know what, do it. Call security.”

(The employee calls security, and a guard arrives shortly.)

Security Guard: *to me* “She tells me you’re trying to pass counterfeit money off on her?”

Me: *hands him the $2 bill*

Security Guard: *to the employee* “Really?”

Employee: *smugly* “Can you believe she tried to give that to me?!”

Security Guard: *walks away*