This Customer Needs A Punch

(On Mondays, my ice cream shop offers double punches on our punch cards. After five visits, you can get three dollars off your total purchase. I’ve had many people complain that we don’t give them a punch per item, even though it’s only five visits, but this story takes place on a Tuesday.)

Customer: “I want two medium cones of black raspberry.”

Me: “All right, that’ll be $4.21.”

(The lady hands me the punch card and the money, and I give her a single punch since it isn’t a Monday.)

Customer: “Wait. I need two punches.”

Me: *expecting that she thinks it’s one punch per item* “Actually, ma’am, we give one punch per visit. Next time you come you can get another punch!”

Customer: “No, I need two punches! On Monday people got them. I want it!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s not Monday, so I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! I AM A CUSTOMER!” *continues to rant, swearing in addition* “OBAMA WANTS ME TO HAVE TWO PUNCHES!”

Me: “Well, then, ma’am, ask him to give us a call and plead your case, but Obama doesn’t own this ice cream stand. Look forward to seeing you again!”

Customer: *still yelling, furious* “I’LL BE HERE NEXT MONDAY!”

(Sure enough, she was, and had a smug look on her face when I gave her two punches.)