Cuffed Red-Handed

(I occasionally hire the nineteen-year-old niece of one of my friends to help me around the store during vacations. She’s quite frail and shy, but it isn’t too much of a problem since many of my customers are regulars and know (and like) her. One busy day, a peculiar lady whom I’ve never seen comes in and goes straight to the girl.)

Customer: “I want a double cheeseburger, a Coke, and a chocolate donut.”

Niece: “Um… I think we’re out of chocolate donuts. I’m going to check. Please wait a minute, ma’am.”

Customer: *bluntly* “Yeah, you do that.”

Niece: *runs to the back*

Customer: *whispering* “Useless b****.”

(When my niece comes back several minutes later, the customer gives her an icy stare.)

Niece: *nervously* “I’m very sorry, ma’am. It seems we’re out of stock. May I suggest you another dess—”

Customer: “You useless little s***! Every time I come here, I find what I want. Just admit you suck at your job.”

Niece: “B-but I—”

Customer: “Don’t interrupt me, you b****! Either get me my food now, or I’ll make sure your skinny little a** gets fired!”

Niece: *almost crying* “Ma’am, please—”

Customer: “You interrupted me again, you s***!”

(Before I can do anything, the customer PUNCHES my niece in the face, hard enough to make the girl fall on her back and hit her head on a cooler. However, two of my regulars, who are uniformed policemen, grab the customer.)

Customer: “What are you doing?!”

Regular #1: “Ma’am, what you just did is an aggravated assault. If this girl is seriously wounded, you face a fine and jail time. Please don’t resist.”

Customer: “Oh yeah?! Tough luck proving that without any police around, jacka**!”

Regular #2: *handcuffs the customer* “Ma’am, we are police officers.”

Customer: *almost faints*

(My friend’s niece ended up breaking her glasses and four of her teeth due to her fall. She refused to come back to work after that, which saddened both me and the regulars. At least she got a small measure of justice thanks to the police officers.)