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Crushed Their Chances

| Romantic | December 7, 2016

(I have liked this guy for about six years. I am really shy but as I get into my teens I turn very social. I finally manage to sit and talk with him after church. It’s all going well… until a very “odd” elderly lady comes and sits between us.)

Lady: “OH, MY GOODNESS! YOU TWO! FINALLY! [My Name], what are you planning for university?”

Me: “Mathematics, Ms. [Lady].”

Lady: “Oh. Well. And you?” *to Crush*

Crush: “I’m not sure, yet.”

Lady: “Well, you better hurry up and decide! Can’t very well have your future wife being smarter than you! She’s going to have to stay home with the kids anyway.”

(She grabs me by the shoulder and him and pushes us closer, holding our heads.)

Lady: “Oh! Look at you two! [Crush’s Last Name] and [My Last Name]! It was meant to be! We’ve all been rooting for you! Imagine how cute your kids are going to be!” *to Crush* “You better get started on that!” *to me* Are you fertile now?”

Me: *in shock* “Uh… no? I’m only 17.”

Lady: “Oh, I’m being so rude. I’ll leave you two kids alone. Don’t get started on the babies until I leave! Oh, the two of you. So great.”

(She leaves and I’m sitting there gripping the edge of the chair.)

Crush: “I… uh… I’m gonna go—”

Me: “Yup. Yup.”

(We haven’t talked much since.)

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