Crossing The Line From Hangry To Unacceptable

My boyfriend is about seven inches taller than me and much broader. We are on a six-hour car journey and we stop at a service station to get some petrol and some food. The queue for a popular burger chain is massively busy, so I recommend just buying some sandwiches which he insists against. We’re queueing for a while, and the whole time he complains incessantly. Then, he berates the young-looking cashier who’s already very apologetic when we get there. We order, she advises how long it’ll take, and then we stand to the side. My boyfriend is still complaining.

Me: “It’s busy, [Boyfriend]. Things are going to take time. It’s not their fault and certainly not that girl’s fault.”

Boyfriend: “It is their fault; they should have more workers!”

You can see that they have every station covered and the kitchen staff are running around trying to fill orders.

Me: “They have as many as they can. They’re working as hard as they can. That poor kid looked like she was about to cry.”

Boyfriend: “Good!”

Me: “Really?!”

Boyfriend: “Can’t handle it, don’t get a job like this. What is taking so long with the order?!”

Me: “It’s been a minute and a half!”

Boyfriend: “No, it’s been like… ten!”

Me: “No, that clock said 12:43 when we got to the cashier. It’s just turned 12:45.”

Boyfriend: “More than a minute!”

Me: “A minute and a half is more than a minute, but okay. It’s now been two! But certainly not ten. She said it’ll take about five to ten minutes, so we wait for ten.”

He grumbles. About three minutes go by.

Boyfriend: “I’m gonna complain!”

Me: “We need to wait for another five before investigating.”

He actually stamps his foot.

Boyfriend: “NO!”

Me: *Taken aback* “[Boyfriend], company policy—”

He gets in my face and pokes my chest.

Boyfriend: “No! It’s been too long! I’m saying it’s been too long! You don’t get to decide that it’s not been! YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! Understand?”

I nod.

Boyfriend: “Answer me! DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?”

Me: *Quietly* “Yes.”

Boyfriend: *Sharply* “Good.”

He notices people are looking at us and his voice and body language immediately soften.  

Boyfriend: “I… Sorry. Company policy?”

Me: *Still quietly* “I used to work for [Burger Chain] in [Hometown]. The policy is ten minutes if there are more than ten people that have ordered before they’ll investigate.”

Boyfriend: “Oh. Then… You take this. And I’ll. Walk. Yes.”

He handed me the receipt and headed off. Our food arrived in the next couple of minutes and it turned out he’d gone to get flowers plus some stuff he knew I liked to apologise to me. He said his behavior was due to hunger but that doesn’t make it okay. Being an idiot, I didn’t run for the hills but decided to take his word for it and accept his apology, eventually moving in with him. Please don’t ignore red flags; in the best-case scenario, you end up living with a parent at the age of thirty with an unhealthy, deep-rooted self-hatred.