Cresting The Waves Of Entitlement

Part of my job is to confirm details of winners that ring up to claim prizes. It’s a nice part of the job, but you do come across a few idiots.

I’ve not long ended a call from someone who hadn’t won — hadn’t in fact entered this month’s competition at all. But because he had played “so many games” in the past, we should just give him the prize.

It was a far longer conversation than it needed to be, and I was looking forward to making someone happy instead of angry.

On the next phone call, I go through the script, confirm his details, and… we have a winner!

Me: “Congratulations, I can confirm you are this month’s first prize winner. Before we move on to delivery details, did you have any questions?”

Caller: “What did I win?”

I’m sure I’ve explained this at least twice; in fact, the competition is named (as always) after the main prize. But people react differently, so I’m happy to explain, again.

Me: “Of course! It’s a [Model] jetski. It’s top of the line and comes fully fueled and in a racing red.”

Caller: “What else you got?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “Well, I don’t live anywhere near the sea. Why would I want a jetski?”

Me: “We don’t offer alternatives, I’m afraid. The jetski is waiting to be sent to you.”

Caller: “Nah, what’s the second prize?”

Me: “You didn’t win the second prize, so I can’t offer it to you.”

Caller: “Why not?”

I wanted to tell him, “Because you didn’t win it!” or, “Because you don’t pick and choose your prize,” or even, “Because the other person could have already claimed theirs.”

Me: “I’m sorry, the prizes are non-transferable. Do you still want the jetski?”

Caller: “I guess so, but I’m just going to sell it.”

Me: “I completely understand, but I’m afraid that is the competition you entered.”

He grumbled and accepted his fate. I understand if we had swapped the prize at the last moment, but this was a competition to win a jetski!