Creeping After Your Wife

(I surprise my wife with lunch at the local grocery store where she works. She is a courtesy clerk so she is stationed at the front of the store near the entrance. Next to her is a Salvation Army bell ringer who they allowed to set up inside rather than out in the cold. My wife and I are in our twenties, though she looks like she’s twelve while I, unfortunately, look my age. I walk in and smile at my wife without saying anything. I don’t like to bother her while she’s on the clock so we normally keep our greetings there brief. I notice I forgot a few items so I go past her again and again, all the while glancing at her to see if she’s off yet. Eventually I set up in the cafe area waiting for her to go on break. At this point I hear her laughing loudly. When she does go on break she tells me about this conversation.)

Bell Ringer: “That’s it; I’m calling security.”

Wife: “Huh? Is something wrong?”

Bell Ringer: “Yeah, that creepy pervert keeps leering at you. Are you okay?”

Wife: “Pervert? Wait, was it that guy in the black jacket?”

Bell Ringer: “YES! The way he was looking at you made me really uncomfortable. Let me know if he tries anything.”

Wife: *after laughing* “That’s my husband. I’ll let him know he’s a creepy, uncomfortable pervert.”

(And she did, for the rest of the night.)