Crazy To Go

(Late night in a very crowded restaurant, a lady cuts in front of me and stands in the well, blocking me from getting my drinks for my tables.)

Bartender: “Ma’am, you can’t stand there. Please move over to the side and I will help you.”

Lady: “I just want to get some food to go.”

Bartender: “Ma’am, please move over to the side of the bar and I can help you.”

Lady: “Can I get some food to go?”

(At this point there are three servers who are now blocked from getting their drinks from the well.)

Bartender: “Ma’am, we only do take-out orders from 5:00-6:00, or an hour before closing.”

Lady: *blank stare*

Me: “Excuse me, may I squeeze by you? I have to get my drinks for my tables.”

Lady: *turns to me* “I want to order some food to go!”

Me: “We only do food to go from 5-6. Or an hour before closing.”

Lady: “What? I need to get some food to go!”

Bartender: “Lady! You need to move out of the service well! I can’t get you any food to go right now!”

Lady: “But… but… I need to order some food…”

Me: “Right. Food to go. But we don’t do that right now.”

Lady: “Why not?”

Other Blocked Servers: “Are you f**king kidding me?”

Bartender: “Ma’am, if you will please just move to the side, I will ask if we can get you some food to go.”

Lady: “Thank you. I don’t understand what’s wrong with you people!”

Me: “Ma’am, can you please scoot over? Please?”

Lady: “I’m not going anywhere until I get my food to go!”

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Lady: “I’m trying to order food to go and your crappy staff won’t help me!”

Manager: “Well, we don’t do food to go right now.”

Lady: “This is bulls**t! I’ll have your f**king job! I want my food to go NOW!”

Manager: “Why don’t you get the h*** out of here right now before I call the police?”

(She stormed out and the entire bar started cheering and clapping.)