Crazy Hungry Love

, , , , , , | Romantic | January 5, 2018

(My boyfriend and I are discussing a Facebook post wherein a guy referred to his girlfriend as “Butterscotch.”)

Boyfriend: “I promise never to call you ‘Thingamajig.’ Or ‘Butterfinger.’ Or ‘Lollipop.’ Because calling your girlfriend a food item sounds pretty degrading.”

Me: *interjecting* “Belgian Waffle.”

Boyfriend: “You’re likening someone you say you love to something you chew up into tiny bits, swallow, suck out everything good left in it, and excrete out 24 hours later.” *pause* “Buttermilk Pancake.”

Me: “Green bean.”

Boyfriend: “Crab Cake.”

Me: “Tater tot.”

Boyfriend: “Cheese biscuit.”

Me: “Okay, we could do this literally forever.”

Boyfriend: “We could!”

Me: “Let’s not.”

Boyfriend: “Okay, Bacon Cheeseburger.”

(To his credit, he did actually stop after that last one.)

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