Cracking The System

It is the day before Easter Sunday. A woman is browsing our selection of chocolate easter eggs.

Customer: “Are any of these going to be discounted today?”

Me: “No, madam. The easter eggs are usually discounted on the Monday after Easter Sunday, or sometimes even Tuesday, as Monday is still a Bank Holiday.”

Customer: “It’s just, I want some for my sister’s kids, but they’re all still so expensive.”

Me: “We have some small [Store Brand] options for £2.”

Customer: “I know, but I don’t want it to look like I got something cheap.”

Me: “How old are the children?”

Customer: “Three and five.”

Me: “Look, I understand things are expensive these days, but these £2 eggs are perfect for your target audience. Do they taste like plastic? Yes. Do the kids care? No, they’d eat human flesh if the sugar content was high enough, so I wouldn’t worry if I were you.”

Customer: *Looking a bit relieved.* “You know what, you’re right. It’s for the kids, not the judgey adults.”

She grabbed two of the cheaper eggs and thanked me. She was back again on Tuesday, when some of the £5 and £6 eggs had been discounted to £2 and £3. I saw her getting some.

Customer: “Oh! Hello again! Thanks for talking sense the other day. The kids still loved the eggs.”

Me: “Glad to hear it! Are you getting them some more?”

Customer: “H*** no! These ones are for me!”