I Spit On Your Culinary Skills

(My boyfriend and I work in the same restaurant but different shifts due to both our baby at home and company policy not allowing us to work together. My shift started at the end of his.)

Husband: “Hey, can you make a burger before I leave?”

Me: “Sure, what kind?”

Husband: *describes his burger* “…and some extra love.”

Me: *giggles* “Extra love? What, do you want my spit in it?”

Husband: “Yeah, why not?”

(Customers are in the lobby and barely have a view of the kitchen but I still don’t do it just in case someone sees and complains. I get home after my shift.)

Me: “Did you like your burger?”

Husband: “Not enough spit in it. I had to do it myself. Such horrible service. I could have called and complained, you know.”

Me: “Oh, my god, I’m going to bed.”