The Crab-Cake Is A Lie
(I work as a seafood clerk at a grocery store. One day we are having a special on crab cakes so we are particularly busy. After helping more than ten people in a row, there are two customers left: an elderly woman, and a man in his mid-30s with his daughter who is no older than six. Due to the rush, I am not sure who is next.)
Me: “I can help whoever was next.”
(The woman glances over at the man, who is texting and paying no attention to me. She shrugs and approaches the counter.)
Customer #1: “Yes, I’ll have two crab cakes and one pound of popcorn shrimp, please.”
Me: “Coming right up.”
(As soon as I begin wrapping up her order, the man looks up from his cell phone.)
Customer #2: “Hey! Woah! Excuse me! I was next!”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be with you as soon as I finish this order.”
Customer #2: “No, no, no! I was here first! Stop what you’re doing and take my order!”
Me: “Sir, I asked who was next and you didn’t respond. This will only take…”
Customer #2: *picks up his cart and slams it on the ground* “THIS IS BULLS***! I’ve been waiting here for twenty f****** minutes! I’m going to the front and speaking to management!”
(He grabs his daughter by the wrist and walks toward the front of the store.)
Customer #1: “Oh, my goodness. He really shouldn’t be talking like that in front of his daughter.”
Me: “No, he shouldn’t be.”
(After about ten minutes, he returns.)
Customer #2: “I just spoke to your boss. He said you have to give me four free crab cakes due to your poor customer service.”
Me: *skeptical* “Okay… let me call the front and confirm.”
Customer #2: “What? Why? I just talked to him!”
Me: “Sir, I have to get permission from my supervisor before I can give out free items.”
Customer #2: “YOU’RE UN-F****ING-BELIEVABLE! You have to be the worst—”
(I tune out his screaming and call the front desk phone.)
Boss: “[Boss] speaking.”
Me: “Hello, sir, there’s a gentleman here that says you told him he could have free crab cakes; is that correct?”
Boss: “What? H***. no! I just got back from my lunch break.”
(I turned around and the man was nowhere to be seen.)
