Coworkers: They Make Life Worth Living, Part 2

(Everyone I work with knows I’m gay. A customer has just paid for her order.)

Customer: “Stop staring at my boobs!”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “You heard me!”

Me: “Lady, I was just counting the money you gave me.”

Customer: “No, you were staring at my boobs and pretending to count the money. Let me talk to your manager right now! I’m going to get you fired!”

(Before I can say anything, one of my male coworkers comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my chest.)

Coworker: “I’m the manager. Are you bothering my boyfriend?”

Customer: *takes her food and leaves*

Coworker’s girlfriend, to me: “Hey, wanna come over tonight?”