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Courtesy Means Bathing Before Flights, People

, , , | Working | May 4, 2022

In the late 1990s, I was traveling from the UK to Canada for work. I went through customs (WAY less traumatic back then), read my book at the gate, and finally was allowed on to the plane.

Then, I got to my seat and met the man I would be sat next to for the next nine hours. It was walking into a wall of nasty. I’m a plumber’s son, so I’ve dealt with smells that would make skunks walk out in disgust, and to this day, I have never smelled a human being that smelled like this and still had a pulse. Imagine the smell of a sweaty unwashed person who pooped themself to death during a humid August and wasn’t found for three days.

Desperately controlling my gag reflex, I went to find a hostess to try to get my seat changed but the (probably harassed and exhausted) lady had no time to listen and brushed me off, insisting I go back to my seat.

Well, I made it through take-off — just — and once again tried to get my seat changed, but I was, once again, told to “stop whining, it’s not that bad” and go back to my seat.

So I did.

And I rang the bell to get a hostess over to us.

She came stomping over, clearly intending to ream me out for being a little baby. I could see her rehearsing in her head — you all know the look. She squatted next to me, took a deep breath…

…and went a very odd shade of greyish green.

Then, she legged it.

A couple of minutes later, I was moved to business class (coach was full) and had a whole mess of comped food and drinks as an apology.

It was the first time I ever travelled business class and it was awesome. I highly recommend it.

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