Coupons Worth Shouting About

(About a year back, we had a coupon where customers could get $5 off of a concession purchase. It’s been nearly nine months since the promotion ended, and as per company regulation, the day the promotion ended, all copies of the coupon left in stock were meticulously collected and destroyed to insure that no more were accidentally given out, and the entire stand was triple-checked for any that might have slipped by, fallen under a register, etc. One day an older man walks up to me, reaches into his jacket pocket, and pulls out one of the coupons. It’s very clearly been sitting in his pocket for several months, and is crumpled and dirty.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But this promotion actually ended several months ago.”

Customer: “What? No. They just gave this to me yesterday.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s not possible. The remaining coupons were all collected as soon as the promotion ended.”

Customer: *with a smug smirk* “But I just got this yesterday. Stop lying to me. Just give me $5 off my order, then.”

Me: “Sir, unfortunately I won’t be able to honor this coupon. It’s been expired for a number of months and our registers won’t even recognize it anymore.”

Customer: *in a taunting, sing-song tone* “Don’t make me scree-aaam.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s really nothing I can do.”

(To my shock and horror, the customer actually does let out a prolonged, over-the-top scream. Like right out of a horror film. Naturally, my manager comes running. I’m treated to several minutes of the man repeatedly claiming he “got the coupon yesterday,” and my manager repeatedly explaining that this was not possible and that he must be mistaken. We refuse to honor the coupon. As I’m wrapping up the transaction, about 30 second later…)

Customer: “Thanks for not taking my coupon, by the way! Pfft!”

Me: “Again, sir. I’m sorry but my hands are completely tied.”

Customer: “Come on! It’s just $5! Your manager isn’t here anymore! Just do it! I might just have to scream again if you don’t!”

Me: *fed up* “And I might just have to ask you to leave!”

Customer: “Fine! Be that way!”

(Thankfully, I haven’t seen “the screamer” since.)