Coupon Day Is A Real Gas!

This happened several years ago, when I was working for a clothing store in a mall. The store I worked for had a sort of cashback system where you earned coupons with your purchase, and you could then use those coupons during a specific time period for great deals. When that time period was approaching, the store would advertise it coming up to get customers hyped and all that.

Weirdly, the corporate entities that be insisted on an actual human, working a physical location, sitting down and calling every single customer that had been in the store and earned any kind of reward. The lists were easily over 100 pages long and it would take multiple shifts across a week for our store to get the whole thing.

I was in the backroom. My shift was hours of calling people and either leaving a voicemail to tell them their current amount in rewards or actually speaking to the person who answered. I dialed in the next number and got their voicemail greeting.

Me: “Hi! This is [My Name] at [Store], letting you know that [Coupon Sale] is coming on [dates]. You currently have—” 

Cue a large, forceful (and honestly, beautiful) burp ripping out of my gut. I couldn’t help it; I started cracking up. I managed to finish the voicemail, apologized profusely for the kind of voicemail they were getting, and hung up. 

Nothing bad ever happened, and no one called back or mentioned an employee burping into their voicemail, but man, I kind of wish I could have been a fly on the wall when that particular voicemail was heard.