Country Living Is A Real Gas

When I was a boy, we moved out of the city to an old farmhouse in the country. It wasn’t exactly remote, but it was in a very rural location, and the only main services it had were telephone and electricity — no gas, and water came from a borehole.

We were rather surprised by the arrival one day of a van from a British gas company. The van parked in the front drive, and the driver walked up to the door and knocked. Mum answered the door.

Mum: *Understandably confused* “Hello, can I help you with anything?”

Man: *Presenting his ID* “Yes, [Gas Company]. I’m here to read the meter.”

Mum: “We don’t have gas.”

Man: “But I’m here to read the meter.”

Mum: “Well, if you can find one, you’re more than welcome to read it, but it must be very well hidden.”

The man from the gas company looked around at the beautiful country setting and nodded.

Man: “I thought it looked kind of an odd place to have gas.”

In a sort of appendix to the whole business, later that same year, the gas company sent a letter saying that they were assigning a new meter number and that the enclosed sticker should be attached to the gas meter — the gas meter that didn’t exist.