Cork-Screwing With Them

(This story was told to me about a long time ago by my grandfather. He is working on site with a new guy who is put in charge of moving materials with the heavy equipment. New Guy has been in one spot for a while moving materials from left to right, always doing a full 360 degree turn. The boss notices this, then after a while he turns to my grandfather.)

Boss: “Hey, watch this.” *runs out to the new guy* “HEY! HEY, [New Guy!] WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

New Guy: “Wh— Only what you told me to, sir!”

Boss: “No, no, that machine you’re sitting in. Have you been making full turns to move this stuff the whole time?”

New Guy: “Yes.”

Boss: “WHAT?! Don’t you realize that operates on a corkscrew? Turn it the way you’ve been turning it enough and you’ll twist it right off, effectively destroying it!”

New Guy: *nervously* “But nobody told me th—”

Boss: “How many times have you spun this thing?”

New Guy: “I don’t know, maybe thirty?”

Boss: “HOLY S***! YOU’RE RIGHT NEAR THE LIMIT! YOU’D BETTER SIT HERE AND START SPINNING THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION UNTIL IT STOPS TURNING AT THE BOTTOM, RIGHT NOW!”

New Guy: *almost panicking* “Yes, sir. I’m so sorry! I’m sorry!”

(The boss walks back to my grandfather.)

Grandfather: “Please don’t tell me that you, the boss, think it operates on a corkscrew?”

(The boss looks at the new guy just spinning the equipment again and again and breaks down laughing.)

Grandfather: “You’re such an a**.”

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