Copying And Pasting This Response To Print On A Future Occasion

I work in tech support. We have all had it happen. We are the technology janitors and should always be available to clean up ALL messes having to do with technology at any time of the day or night.

At about 11:30 pm, my mobile phone goes off, waking me from a very well-deserved slumber. I see that it is a work number.

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name].”

User: “Hey, [My Name], this is [User] down at the office, and I just wanted to let you know that the main printer is out of ink. Can you come fix this?”

Me: “Okay? Is the backup printer on the other side of the department broken?”

User: “Well, no.”

Me: “And this is an emergency because…?”

User: “Well, I was told to call this number.”

Me: “This number is my mobile phone, and while I will respond to emergencies after hours, it is to be used for emergencies only.”

User: “Well, this is an emergency to me. I cannot print.”

Me: “Okay. Since you are declaring an emergency, I will call [Her Manager], wake him up, let him know, and be down there in about twenty minutes to change the toner cartridge out for you.”

User: “Wait. Why would you call my manager?”

Me: “Because you said that this was an emergency and are requiring me to respond to this immediately. I am required to inform the manager of the department when emergencies happen.”

User: “But—”

Me: *Cutting her off* “Oh, it is not such an emergency to wake your boss over, but waking me up is fine and dandy? Tell you what, then. You have two other options that I have painstakingly planned for to handle just such an occasion. Either you can, one, print to the backup printer on the other side of the department, which I requested purchase of and your manager approved the cost of for this exact reason; or, two, you can look in the cabinet labeled supplies under the printer and find and replace the new cartridge into the printer yourself. It was placed there four weeks ago by me when I changed out the last toner cartridge during the day, during normal business hours, just in case the printer needed one when I am not around. I will leave this choice to your professional expertise. Good night.”

I hung up the phone.