Cops Get There Faster Than A Ferrari

(I have just graduated high school and am looking for a job before I head off to college. I start by getting into a job that’s basically me unwrapping vinyl wrappings on the interior and exterior of cars. After a good few weeks of searching, I am finally asked by a guy living relatively close to me to unwrap his Ferrari, a 488. I give him my price and the estimated amount of time needed, which is a few days since I have to go to him. Everything goes smoothly, he agrees, and I start my work. I’m on the third day, working for an hour or so, before a man and what I assume to be his daughter walks down the sidewalk. The father is in his mid-forties and the daughter in her late teens, maybe 16 or 17. I see them coming and raise my hand in greeting. They return the gesture, and I resume my work only for a shadow to fall over me. I look up and see that the man and his daughter standing over me.)

Man: “Nice car you got there.”

Me: “Thanks! It’s not actually mine — I’m just unwrapping the vinyl wrappings — but I can tell the owner you like it if you want.”

Man: “You got the keys to it?”

Me: “Nah, I don’t have the keys. Sorry.”

Man: “Can my daughter and I sit in it?”

Me: “Nah, man, sorry. This car doesn’t actually belong to me, so I can’t let you sit in it.” *points to my ghetto ‘86 Toyota pickup* “You can sit in my truck, though. I don’t mind you sitting in the bed of it.”

Daughter: *takes one look at it and sneers* “Ew, that’s disgusting. There’s no way I’m sitting in that!”

Me: *stands up from kneeling* “Yeah, well, you’re not wrong about it being disgusting, but it’s the only thing I got right now.”

Man: “Come on! Just let her sit in it. She just turned sixteen a week ago! Let her have some fun!”

Me: “Look, I’ve already told you: I can’t let you sit in it. It’s not my car, so I couldn’t let you sit in it even if I wanted to. I’m just an eighteen-year-old trying to earn some cash unwrapping vinyl wrappings.”

Man: “Come on! It’s not like it’s going to do anything or hurt the car, is it?”

Me: *turning around to face the dad, big mistake* “Yes, it can and it will hurt the car. I’m not done unwrapping the interior yet, so it’ll—“

(As I’m talking with the dad, I hear the door quickly open and close. I turn back around to find that the daughter had jumped in. I try to open it, but she quickly locks it.)

Me: *knocking on window* “Miss, you need to get out right now.”

Man: *getting up in my face now* “Look, man, just let her have it! Back off before I make you!”

(Before I can react, he bolts for the passenger side. I try to stop him, but the man quickly pushes me onto the ground, giving me a pretty nasty scrape on my elbow in the process. The door unlocks and he jumps in. I get up and quickly honk my truck’s horn to let the owner know something is wrong. He bolts out of his house, since, you know, a Ferrari 488 is expensive as h***. As the owner tries to talk with the man and his daughter, I quickly call the police, since it is pretty obvious they aren’t going to get out anytime soon. As the couple mocks the owner, I tell the operator that people are trying to steal a Ferrari. That gets their attention pretty quickly, and before you know it, four or five cops pull up, code three. The man and his daughter don’t seem scared by them.)

Cop: *walks up to the car window and knocking on it* “Sir? Sir! Get out of the car!”

Man: “Look! It’s her birthday week! Let her f****** have it! Besides, it’s not like this old f***** is going to be driving it anytime soon!”

Cop: *growing frustrated by the couple’s obscenity and stubbornness* “Sir, you will get out of the car or else we’ll be forced to call in a locksmith.”

Man: *gives the cop the bird*

(Cue 30 to 50 minutes of the cops trying to unlock it, only for the man and his daughter to immediately lock it again. After lots of talking and lots of trying, the cops apparently “gave up,” before suddenly unlocking it and surprising the two. As the door opened, the man and his daughter went ape-s*** crazy. Somehow, the dad managed to get away from his officer and bolted towards me, socking me pretty heavily in the gut and across the face. Immediately afterward, the four remaining cops all tackled him simultaneously to the ground and made sure I was fine before asking if I wanted to press charges. I immediately said yes, since he wasted over an hour of work and physically assaulted me, along with a bunch of other charges the owner decided to request, and that’s not even taking into consideration the number of laws he broke. The whole time, the daughter was screaming and crying while the dad was trying to get at me. End result? I got a ride in the Ferrari as a thank-you. To this day, I’m not sure what happened to that man and his daughter, but I’m sure it wasn’t good.)