Conversation In Headlock Gridlock

(I am working at the desk, when I get a phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is Kate. How may I help you?”

Man: “Oh, well, don’t you sound cheerful this morning! How cute. I knew a girl named Kate… Oh, wow. Can I spill my guts to you?”

(I’m not quite sure what to say, almost expecting this to be a prank call.)

Me: “Um… sure?”

Man: “Well, I know a girl named Kate… and she was a muscle builder type of girl. I’m sure you have those… right? Well, you should’ve seen this. One time at a pool party, she put me in a scissor head lock. She held me there for so long… I couldn’t even breathe. It was crazy. She held me in a scissor head lock.”

(The guy on the phone continued to repeat the fact that she had held him in a scissor head lock while she was in a bikini.)

Me: “Oh, well, that’s quite interesting. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Man: “But you would’ve laughed, right? To see a 21-year-old girl put a 58-year-old man in a scissor head lock… Just tell me you would’ve laughed. I want to hear you say it. And then you would have told her to go and do it to someone else, right?”

(Genuinely creeped out and completely puzzled as to why this conversation is happening, I ask him again how I can help him.)

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I must move on past this topic. Now, is there anything I can help you with?”

Man: “Yes, I was just wondering how much your memberships are.”

Me: “Okay, sir… Let me direct you to someone in that department.”

(Needless to say, I was confused for the rest of the day.)