Repeating The Jokes

(I’m the director of a play in the Vancouver Fringe. My show, like many in the festival, is outdoors. We can’t block off the area to foot traffic, but we do place signs indicating that a performance is underway. A woman passing through stops and joins the crowd. I sidle up to her and whisper, so as not to distract the actors:)

Me: “Hi there! Just so you know, this performance is part of the Vancouver Fringe Festival and it is a ticketed event. If you’d like to join us another night, you can buy tickets online or before the performance at the site.”

Her: “But it’s out here in a public place.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is true, and this performance is part of the Vancouver Fringe Festival and it is a ticketed event. If you’d like to join us another night, you can buy tickets online or before the performance at the site.”

Her: “Well, I want to watch.”

Me: “I completely understand; it’s an excellent show, but this performance is part of the Vancouver Fringe Festival and it is a ticketed event. If you’d like to join us another night, you can buy tickets online or before the performance at the site.”

Her: “You can’t make me leave. It’s a public place.”

Me: “That’s true, ma’am, but this performance is part of the Vancouver Fringe Festival and it is a ticketed event. If you’d like to join us another night, you can buy tickets online or before the performance at the site.”

Her: “You’re making me miss what the actors are saying!”

Me: “Yes, I am. This performance is part of the Vancouver Fringe Festival and it is a ticketed event. If you’d like to join us another night, you can buy tickets online or before the performance at the site.”

(She finally gave me a filthy look and stormed off. Sadly, she was not the last person I had to employ this strategy on.)