Confessions Of A Shoe Store Owner

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Working | November 1, 2013

(It is the end of the shift, at about 10 pm. I’m calling the owner with the daily numbers.)

Me: “Good evening, Mr. [Name]; I’m calling with the numbers.”

(The owner replies in what can only be described as a ‘come-hither’ porny voice.)

Owner: “Oh! Yes, please. Give it to me.”

Me: “Uh, well…”

(I proceed to read a list of the products sold, using the least porny voice I can muster.)

Owner: “Oh yes. YES! That’s GOOD!”

(I read out more numbers. I can hear the sound of fabric shuffling, and some kind of fleshy pounding.)

Owner: “YES! YES! THAT’S GOOD!”

Me: “Did you hear what I said, Mr. [Name]?”

Owner: “Oh, [My Name], you’re being so hard on me!”

(I suddenly hear the owner’s wife’s voice in the background.)

Owner’s Wife: “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?”

(The owner slams down the receiver.)

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