Complaining To Have Nothing To Complain About, Part 3

Me: “Hello, [Tech Support].”

Caller: “FINALLY! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to pick up the d*** phone?

Me: “Let me see… 36 seconds, sir.”

Caller: “Exactly! I can’t believe… Wait, what?”

Me: “You were on hold for exactly 36 seconds before I got to you.”

Caller: “…really? You can tell that?”

Me: “As soon as your call enters the queue it generates a note of the time you called in. Yours was logged at [time] which was just about 36… well, 46 seconds ago, now.”

Caller: “Well… it felt longer than that. D*** it now what am I supposed to do? This… this has never happened before!”

Me: “Did you have a tech related issue to report?”

Caller: “Uh, I think so… I can’t remember now! I… you’ve thrown my whole thought process off!”

(He hangs up. A little while later I pick up another call, and notice it’s the exact same number.)

Me: “Hello, [Tech Support].”

Caller: “Thank God! Do you know how long I’ve been on hold? Waiting for you to get off your damn a** and help me?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Huh?”

Me: “According to the time stamp you had a wait of 26 seconds this time before I got to you. That’s a pretty good improvement over your previous call.”

Caller: “For the love of God! Look, your stupid intro recording says I might experience higher than average wait times! What am I supposed to do if you then immediately answer the phone?”

Me: “Be glad you didn’t have to wait for very long and enjoy getting your issue resolved promptly?”

(He grumbled all the way through the troubleshooting process, complaining about how we shouldn’t be so quick to answer calls or be able to track the amount of time a customer has been on hold.)