Comparing Their Instruments

(I am working with a string quartet consisting of four 13-year-old boys. During one coaching session, they start comparing their bows, which results in the following dialogue.)

Violist: “Mine’s longer!”

Cellist: “Yeah, well mine’s thicker!”

First Violinist: “Mine’s longest!”

Violist: “Yeah, but it’s all skinny!”

Second Violinist: “Mine has more hair than yours.”

Me: *desperately trying not to lose it* “Okay, right, well, let’s start at measure 49 again, shall we?”

(As far as I know, they never clued in!)