Coming To A Theater Near You: Gangsta Ushers

(It is a known fact that when you go into our movie theater, you cannot have extra bags or cups, because that is how the theater makes their money. You can bring empty cups with you, but we cannot provide you with them. One night, a guy is not having it.)

Me: “Nope, I’m sorry. I can’t give you an extra bag.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Because each bag is accounted for through our inventory, and if I give you one, it will be messed up.”

Customer: “Then how am I supposed to share with my son?”

Me: “Pay the 35 cents more and upgrade.”

(I finish giving him his order, and then turn around to clean up some of the mess. The customer suddenly reaches behind the counter, grabs another bag and takes off.)

Me: “Oh, h*** no!” *chases customer down with a team of gangsta ushers*

(We surround the customer, as all the ushers have their arms folded and are staring him down.)

Usher #1: “You gonna give her that bag back?”

Customer: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”

Usher #2: “Then don’t come here if you can’t follow our rules.”

*security guards escort him out*