Colora-d’oh!

, , , | Right | September 4, 2020

A customer comes to the counter with a return.

Me: “All right, that was 50% off, and you now have $4.19 in store credit.”

Customer: “I can’t spend store credit; I don’t live around here!”

Me: “Well, we’re a state-wide company. Where do you live?”

Customer: “California.”

Me: “Er, yeah, we might make an exception for that.”

I page a supervisor.

Me: “Could I see your driver’s license, just to be sure?”

It’s a Colorado license issued six months ago. It is also probationary.

Customer: “Sorry, I don’t have a California driver’s license yet.”

Supervisor: “What’s going on?”

I am still giving this customer the benefit of the doubt.

Me: “This lady wants a refund because she, er, just moved to California and is about to go back there? When were you leaving, ma’am?”

Customer: “Late tonight. Or maybe tomorrow morning. But for your information, I’ve lived in California for three years!”

Me: “Then why on earth did you get a Colorado driver’s license this year?”

Customer: “I visit a lot. I have to help my mother run errands.”

Supervisor: *Alighting on the receipt* “Hmm, it seems you paid for the last purchase partially by gift card.”

Me: “As you visit so frequently, I’m sure you’ll find time to use the gift card; it’s good for the next nine years.”

Customer: “Oh, fine.”

The supervisor, barely concealing a derisive snort, leaves.

Customer: “By the way, who can I talk to about doing community service this week?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. You’ll have to ask [Supervisor] about that one, too.”

The customer slunk away in humiliation.

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