Cold Call From Work

(I am training a new 17-year-old girl. I am going slow and steady, trying to teach her the right way to do everything. Two female customers come in. One orders a drink made with caffeine-free citrus soda and sherbet. I start explaining and showing the trainee what to do.)

Me: *quietly to the trainee* “Okay, use two scoops for a small and three for a large, then fill it to here with soda. I personally think these are gross, but they’re really popular, especially with kids.”

Customer: “It’s not gross! If you ever tried it, you’d know it wasn’t gross!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t even realize you could hear me. I just don’t personally like them, but I know plenty of people who do.”

Customer: “You have to take that back! I’m the customer, so I’m right! You’re the rudest f****** b**** I’ve ever seen!”

Me: “Okay. I’m sorry that I don’t personally like the same drink that you do.”

Customer: “I need to talk to your manager right now!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m the senior employee working right now. My manager is at home with her daughter. I can take down your information and have her call you wh—”

Customer: “No! Call her right now! I need to talk to her and tell her what a rude b**** you’ve been!”

Me: *while dialing the phone* “Just to clarify: you want me to interrupt my manager’s family dinner, so you can inform her that I don’t like soda and sherbet mixed together, yes?”

Customer: “Yes! Call her right now! I’ll get your a** fired!”

(I explain the situation on the phone to my manager.)

Manager: “So, what exactly does she want me to do?”

Me: “I think she wants you to fire me… for not liking sherbet.”

Manager: “Oh, lord. Just give her the phone.”

(The trainee and I stand there while the customer yells on the phone at my manager. My poor trainee is just dumbfounded. Eventually my manager convinces the woman to leave and asks her to not come back, as insulting her employees is not acceptable. The woman and her friend leave, and my new co-worker and I breathe a sigh of relief. The customer storms back into the shop.)

Customer: “Oh! And you know what’s f****** gross? Your face!”

(She leaves, and I start laughing uncontrollably.)

Trainee: “Did that just f****** happen?”

Me: “Welcome to life in customer service!”