Coffee Shop Customer Found Poked To Death

Customer: “Is the lemon pound cake fresh? Like, is it soft?”

Me: “All of our pastries are fresh, sir. Would you like a sample, to see if you like it?”

Customer: “Just let me feel it.”

(I put the slice of cake on a plate and watch resignedly as he pokes the cake full of holes.)

Customer: “Yeah, I guess that’s soft enough.”

Me: “Alright…”

(I pick up the slice of cake with tongs and move to put it in a pastry bag.)

Customer: “Not THAT one! It’s got holes all in it!”